On the first hole of a four-man scramble a few years ago I watched my three teammates dump their drives into a water hazard that a six iron would easily carry. The ripples of the third ball radiated across the pond as they turned to me. “Don’t worry,” I assured them. “We’ll use my drive.” As I addressed the ball the perils of the hazardous vortex never entered my mind. I focused on my target, made a smooth swing and hit it where I aimed.

Getting off the tee was a lesson I learned in my first golf tournament at age fourteen. I was visiting my sister in Texas and she convinced me to play in a local junior event. The first tee box boasted banners, a crowd of enthusiastic parents and an attentive deep-voiced starter. I waited nervously. The parents applauded when the starter announced my name and proclaimed I had come “…all the way from Oklahoma City.” My hand trembled as I teed the ball. I took a shallow breath and a quick swing that sent my ball slicing into the woods and out of bounds.

There was a moment of silence. I stood in shock until the starter whispered, “Son, you’ll have to hit another.” After swallowing what remained of my pride I gathered myself. The second shot wasn’t spectacular, but the ball was in play and the crowd acknowledged my effort. I tipped my cap, grabbed my bag and marched with humility down the fairway. This was a significant moment on my journey to becoming a golfer, and someone capable of overcoming myself, which continues to this day. WOG

I think of my mother every day and especially when I’m playing golf. She enrolled me in junior golf when I was 14, encouraged me to practice and to always do my best. She played golf and understood it was a game of character, self-reliance and commitment. A competitive spirit, my mother loved gardening, canasta and keeping score. Around our house it was often the girls versus the boys (and the girls usually won) so it was amusing to me when, in a billiard hall several years later, a college date suggested we forgo keeping score. “That way,” she offered. “Everyone wins.” I thought of my mother, smiled and countered, “Who’s your role model, Karl Marx?”

A few years before she passed I gave my mother a set of note cards for Mother’s Day. “And what am I going to do with these?” she asked flatly. “All my friends are dead.” I thought for a moment. “I’m your friend,” I said. “You can send them to me.” And she did. Every couple of weeks they’d arrive, often with a photo or cartoon clipping and a brief note about the weather or her garden, but always with a few words of encouragement. I was blessed to have her in my life and trust that you have a friend or two like that. WOG

In the mid-Eighties I coached my son’s baseball team. The boys were nine year olds and full of possibilities (and themselves). At an early batting practice one frustrated player said, “But coach, I’m trying.” I stopped and gathered the team. My son rolled his eyes, knowing what was coming. I gently reminded them what Yoda said to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, “There is no try. There is only do and not do.” Then I demonstrated how to focus their attention and visualize hitting through the ball. Almost immediately they transformed into a wrecking crew. When I said, “Get a hit.” They said, “Will do, coach.” Clearly, “trying” implies the possibility of failure. So what’s the point?

The debate over the nature of consciousness has raged since the last Ice Age. We still don’t know how we know. Truth varies depending on whom you ask, so consider the possibility everyone has a point of view based on a unique set of experiences. With belief there is always a measure of doubt. In golf when you hit a great shot you are having an experience “beyond belief.” Know you can recreate this experience at will.

Our point of view is a matter of choice and knowledge is based on the sum total of direct experience. So, there is really no excuse, is there? When your game is out of sync it is easy to get down, but find the humor in your humanity and watch your language. Take a lesson. Make adjustments. Work it out. You will enjoy your game and your playing companions will enjoy you. WOG

I was watching Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew the other night and wondered what Tiger Woods must be doing. While I can’t afford a stretch in rehab I’ve always tipped generously at IHOP or the Waffle House. I do my part to square the karma. Given the rate of relapse, rehab doesn’t provide a very good return on investment and it’s unclear if infidelity is a treatable condition. With male pattern baldness at least you can wear a cap.

Years ago a therapist suggested I attend a sex addicts anonymous meeting. “Every man should go,” she said. “Besides, it’s a great place to meet women.” Oh really? I learned in Los Angeles there is a twelve-step program for every compulsive disorder. My therapist was right. The room was filled with attractive women, many of whom were aspiring actors and comedians eager to welcome newcomers, hold hands in the circle and listen as others shared. Afterward there was a distinct shift as the women huddled outside, drinking coffee and chain-smoking Marlboro Lights. It didn’t seem right to interrupt their process and I figured I wouldn’t get very far wearing an Ashworth golf shirt, improper apparel for courtship in progressive Hollywood. I recalled what my elder sister told me when I was twelve, “Never try and guess what a woman is thinking, because you can’t keep up.” With an early tee time the next morning I exercised good judgment and cruised on home, leaving the anonymous women smoking until their hearts were content.

NBC golf analyst Johnny Miller’s comment that Tiger’s actions have “hurt the game” is correct, but I am certain the game can take the punch. Tiger’s February 19 statement appeared heartfelt, it’s obvious he only has himself to blame and the drama will continue to play out. We’ll see if the world’s greatest golfer can overcome the pervasive narcissism, and self-inflicted wounds, that seem to plague the cult of celebrity. We’ll see if Tiger’s fist pumps yield to humility, if he can regain the respect he has lost and what becomes of his family. Golf is the ultimate game of revealing character and that our thoughts and behavior have consequences. We’ll see if Tiger can be as great of a human being as he is a player. WOG