Language frames our reality. It is always best to think before you speak. On the golf course, we often hear players make statements such as: "I am the world's worst putter" or "I can't control my driver." How can these statements possibly improve their performance? If you listen, you will hear players spewing negative comments left and right (along with their shots). You would never speak to a close friend in this manner, so why would you speak to yourself in ways that virtually assure failure?

When your game is out of sync it is easy to get down on yourself, but don't do it. Find the humor in your humanity. Take some lessons. Make adjustments. Develop a positive attitude. Work it out. You will enjoy your game. And your playing companions will enjoy you.

Here are a few examples of how adjusting your language will impact your outcomes:

"Try" versus "Will"

Back in the mid-Eighties I coached my son's baseball team when the boys were nine year olds and full of possibilities (and themselves). At an early batting practice one of the players became frustrated and said, "But coach, I'm trying." Seizing the moment, I stopped pitching and had everyone gather around. My son rolled his eyes, having heard the story before. As compassionately as I could, I reminded everyone what Yoda said to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: "There is no 'try,' there is only 'do' and 'not do.'" Then I gave a simple demonstration of how to relax and channel energy, visualize and create success. Almost immediately, the boys transformed from timid beginners to confident veterans. When I said, "Get a hit." They said, "Will do, coach." Clearly, "trying" implies the possibility of failure. So what's the point?

"Belief" versus "Experience"

From scientists to philosophers, from theologians to shamans, the debate over the nature of consciousness has been going on since the last Ice Age. We still don't know how we know. Truth varies depending on whom you ask, so consider the possibility everyone has a "point of view" based on a unique set of experiences. With belief there is always a measure of doubt. In golf, every time you hit a great shot you are having an experience "beyond belief." Know you may recreate this experience at will. Point of view is a matter of choice and knowledge is based on the sum total of your direct experience. So, there is really no excuse, is there?

"Sympathy" versus "Compassion"

Everyone has times when a bit of friendly advice will make a difference. A sympathetic friend may say, "I'm so sorry to hear about that." And sometimes a little sympathy is all you want. A compassionate friend will say, "I understand what you're saying, now what are you going to do about it?" If you want to advance your golf game or your business or your life, always seek the counsel of compassionate friends, and teachers, who will support clarity and help you create an expanded range of possibilities.

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